Proverbs 1:8-9 Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and forsake not your mother’s teaching, for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck.
The implication in this passage is that the father and mother are actively iinstructing and teaching!
'If I'm being totally humble and honest, I have to say that my kids are the most amazing kids anyone could ever know. Probably better than any other kids God has ever blessed this earth with.' :)
I think most parents humbly believe that our kids are amazing and that they're probably the pinnacle of God's creative efforts thus far.
As parents, the work of investing in the spiritual development of our children is our primary function. Yet this can easily become a neglected area of instructing and teaching.
We teach our kids about everything from math, reading, sports, hunting, fishing, advice about girls and boys, how to change oil and swap out a flat tire.. but do we teach them to value and invest in their own soul? The Bible? The Church? A personal relationship with Jesus?
Many parents (who may even be engaged in their own spiritual growth) aren't that great at showing and teaching their children about what a spiritually lead life looks like.
I know that when my three kids were little, (now they are 17, 19 and 21), I had set myself up as the answer Dad. I travelled a lot and when I was home, I had all the answers. I was super Dad! Whoosh in and answer things and Whoosh out! So when it came to things I didn't quite understand, I either deflected, got frustrated or just ignored it all together.
As I got older and my kids started to grow I knew I had to change and intentionally lead them. I responded to God's calling and it radically changed my life, job, career and lifestyle and I was able to be more present and grow in my parenting.
Here are 8 thoughts that I hope help you. Some I've done, some I'm doing and some I wish I'd done.
1. Lead by example. Your kids are watching you. How you treat people, the church, your pastor, other kids... you're showing your kids how to value people by what you do and how you treat them. Do you want your kids to respect their elders? Then model it. Let them see you honor the spiritual leaders in your life. (If you don't have spiritual leaders, that's a problem because you're teaching your kids that you are the end of all authority and I promise you that when they leave home, your relationship will be shattered when they learn you are not all you set yourself up to be.)
2. Sing with them. "Anyone can sing" Music is mysterious in how it touches and unified us. It's such a gift from God. Worship with your kids. Sing in the car together. Teach them songs that are honoring to people. Project: make up a list of your family values together and make up a rhyme with your last name. Give them an identity of high character that brings them pride and strength.
3. Teach them the beauty of the mystery of God. Be honest with them about what you don't know. One of the biggest parenting mistakes we can make is to allow our kids to think we have all of the answers. This sets us up to teach them to fear and worship man kind instead of God. If we can be honest that even we grown ups need to have child like faith and trust God with what we don't know, the seed of faith will continue to grow in their hearts.
4. Apologize to your kids when you are wrong. This gives them dignity and a strong foundation that there is absolute truth in the world. And it builds their confidence that truth is on their side and gives an example of humility when they make a mistake.
5. Teach them to trust. People are generally good. You may feel like the world is against you and that anyone in any type of authority is "the man". But that's really your own insecurity, pain and pride that hasn't been dealt with. Don't project that on your kids. Police, doctors, judges, teachers, pastors... all just want to help people. Teach them to trust.
(Yes, Someone will violate that trust at some point and they will be hurt and they will grow and strengthen so they can trust again). If we don't have hope in each other then we're all doomed.
6. Remind them daily that their value comes from their being not from their performance. Don't get me wrong. Don't reward them for existing. But separate the reward for accomplishment from their value as a person. One is for something you've done and the other is something you are. We have all seen that go wrong on both sides where great athletes think they're great people and their platform for pride are their downfall. The other side of that is the truth that most kids are amazing and talented in ways for which we don't award trophies! I'd love to see an award ceremony and lettermans jacket for the kid who picks up trash in the lunch room faithfully, or the one who gives up half his lunch every day to help a friend not go hungry. Your kids worth is eternal and a gift from God because they're made in His image and their real trophy comes from God when they take their part in His plan in loving people to bring His Kingdom to earth as it is in Heaven.
7. You're not alone:
This is where a church comes in. If you're hesitant to engage with your kids, it's ok, you're not a bad parent. You were never intended or expected by God to raise them alone. Go to a church who has a desire to help equip you to initiate spiritual conversations in your family. And engage in that church's mission. Engaging and committing to a church is the #1 way to show your children that investing in their community and their spiritual development is important.
Ask your children's ministry leaders to share their plans with you. Ask them to give you the bible verses they're teaching from. And on the way home from church ask them about their lesson that day. But ask in a smart way that will get an answer.
"What activity did you do in class today?" "What did they teach you about Jesus today? "
(Don't ask "what did you learn in class today". That feels like a test and brains seize up. )
Finally and most importantly:
8. Pray for your children. Pray for their souls, their hearts, their minds and their strength. Pray for their future. Pray for their spouse to be. Pray for their careers and pray most of all that God would be so close to their heart they would have courage and conviction to be the most amazing light in this world that you know they can be!
Set your alarm to wake you up or stop your work or interrupt your day to pray for your kids. You will find that when you pray for them, your heart aligns with God's heart and you will be more patient, loving, insightfully, compassionate and more equipped to train them up to love.
Proud Dad of 3 amazing kids who are probably the most amazing kids God has ever created.
Pastor Mike
No comments:
Post a Comment