To Blog or not to blog

As I sit down to blog, I struggle with fear that someone might actually read what I have to say.

This is my fourth attempt to start blogging, but it has never really stuck.  I tend to put this pressure to always be "on" as a preacher, so rather than just let stuff flow, I write, delete, write, delete, get frustrated, run out of coffee and then freak out.  (Because of the coffee thing and because after an hour, I have nothing worth posting to a blog).

Then, I start writing honestly and think "nobody really wants to read that".    Or I read back what I wrote and think "man, I'm such a judgmental whiner".    Or I get all excited about a deep thought that I want to share and realize that to many, my deep thoughts are trivial, irrelevant or maybe even elementary in their understanding and I'll reveal myself as a shallow fool.  

I really don't think I have much to say, that isn't already being said by people much more talented, gifted and committed than I am.  

This time might be different.  I finally found a motivation to put effort in to Blogging.  Before, blogging seemed to me as self absorbed and narcissistic.  (so how judgmental I am?)  Then I read this blog titled "Seven reasons every pastor should have a blog" by Thom Rainer.     

I love Thom Rainer.  Two of his books, "Simple Church" and "the UnChurched Next Door" really shaped my passion for church planting and helped me fall in love with what a church can be.

Why might this stick? 

Well, I'm a pastor.  I carry a deep burden for the spiritual health and growth of people God puts in my care.   Out of my pastor's perspective, I LOVE to preach.  I do not like public speaking, doing weddings or any type of performance.  I love to preach.   Preaching serves a purpose that nothing else does and if you're a pastor you know exactly what I'm talking about.   What message will they walk away with?   What's the story they'll tell themselves about who God is and who they are after hearing a sermon for 35 minutes?   These are burdens I carry and often feel like I fall short.

I am hopeful that as I blog about my sermon each week, I can feel free to preach shorter messages and I can share all of the resources used when I prepare.   With this outlet, it will give me a place to put deeper thought, contrasts and difficult truths that require us to wrestle.  

So blogging from the perspective that it will help me lead and care for the people of Corvallis Church gives me a motivation to do it well.  

Let's see where this goes.


Broken to Love describes my journey with God.  In my own stubbornness and pride, God pursued me in such a loving way that destroyed everything that I was keeping between me and Him.  Such a loving act of grace and such a difficult time.  My faith in God was tested and I am thankful for His provision of the faith I couldn't muster up on my own.  He's so good, so so good to me.